So, no post in a couple days. I've missed it. I haven't been busy, or anything like that. I've just been emotional. and moody. ok, and lazy. There. I said it. I have realized that I enjoy writing, almost as much as I enjoy reading. Writing allows me to express thoughts and ideas that I may not possibly be able to articulate any other way. It's a worthwhile form of commentary, because when writing, you can put your heart and thought "out there" in a very real way; meanwhile, if speaking directly to someone, it may be more difficult to get a point across. THAT is one of the reasons I love writing SO MUCH.
I want to be real for a moment today. Shoot, I ALWAYS WANT to be real, genuine, honest, candid; BUT I'm NOT always real or genuine or honest...because that what I want from others.
Fact is, sometimes I get unbalanced. My emotions take me wayyy up one day, and wayyy down the next; I'm full of joy one day, full of sorrow the next. and I know God is in control, and I know that He is "working all things together for my good" and I know lots of other things I can hold on to, and have the peace of God; I just choose NOT to hold on to those things. I choose to wallow for a bit in my messy situation, in my messy circumstance.
I forget that the Keeper of the Stars is the Lover of my Soul; I forget that the Creator of all things is the Creator of ME; I forget that in the darkness of the night, when I feel lonely and dejected, that I have a friend who sticks closer than a brother. I forget. I forget. and I forGOT.
I forgot that my mind doesn't get renewed all at once - it gets renewed a little bit at a time, as the word of God comes in and reminds me of who I am, of who I am created to be; when the Word reminds me that I am victorious, that I am an overcomer, that I can do ALL things through Christ, who gives me strength. That momentary, LIGHT AFFLICTION is producing eternal glory beyond compare. that I can be afflicted in every way, but not crushed. That I can be perplexed, but not despairing. That I can be persecuted, but not forsaken. That I can be struck down, but not destroyed.
And what helped me remember, and see...were words of encouragement. From a seasoned warrior. From a saint of God that has been in the haunches; that has crawled through a mess of poop, and came out on the other side smelling like roses. It wasn't always easy for them, wasn't always pretty for them. And they live to share their story. with me. with ME.
So, today is a reminder to all of us. Take the mask off. Tear the wall down. Come out of the frame. If I had continued to wear my mask, I would have never known that I was ok. I was reeling just from STUFF going on in life. I didn't know which end was up. But, I was reminded that I am God's and I AM OK. I am a dear friend. I am His Beloved. He is for me; when I don't perceive Him. He is for me, when no one else seems to be.
I want to say thank you again to the one of whom I speak. I hope you read this. You know who you are.
And to the rest of my friends, I hope this encourages you in some small way. My love to you girls and guys.
Velvet
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