So, a month off...no excuses again. I get in my head alot. ALOT. If you are one that doesn't have a problem with that, my hat is off to you. I, on the other hand, get in mine ALOT. I worry, I fear, I worry some more, and I fear alot more. I think about things that haven't even happened yet, and wonder and worry what I will do WHEN they happen. I am a mess, really. I don't mean that in a bad way, but I am. Not a victim, you understand, because a victim is one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions; one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment...that CAN'T be descriptive of a child of God, because His Word says "we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (II Corinthians 4:8-10). That makes it crunch time, right there. Time to put up or shut up for me. I CANNOT be described as a victim, because it directly contradicts the Word that God says about me.
In saying all that, I have had a song on my mind for a couple days. This particular song has really been ministering to me, and making me think...It's "East to West" by Casting Crowns. I just wanna share what the Holy Spirit has shown me/IS showing me concerning the words to this song. My commentary will be in brackets [ ] alongside the words of the song.
East to West
Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness [I forget that He forgets; when I confess and repent, He is NOT a God sitting in Heaven ready to strike me if I do it again; He doesn't remember all my faults and shortcomings, just to remind me of them later...thats the job of the enemy of my soul...]
The chains of yesterday surround me [chains of yesterday...I hold on to EVERYTHING that has happened...whether it be yesterday, or the day before, or 10 years ago...even though I can't change it; but the chains of it surround me like a cord, squeezing out my life]
I yearn for peace and rest [I yearn for my soul to find peace, and to find rest in the promises of God; yet, I don't. I let my mind wander around, and get me in a tizzy]
I don't want to end up where You found me [where He found me was at the bottom of a bottle, and in the dregs of life; full of greed, selfishness, and bitterness with a deadly hold...along with others things that were shaking, as well]
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight [it echoes in my mind because I dont let the Word of God RENEW my mind...if my mind is filled with good, how can it be filled with worry, fear and despair?]
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west [Psalm 103:12 - its scripture, how can I doubt this? ]
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned [we can come to God now, because when Jesus died on the cross, the veil was torn from top to bottom, signifying that we no longer needed a priestly mediator; Jesus is our mediator]
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way [that is the problem...I "feel" too much...I feel emotional, I feel sad, I feel depressed, etc...not about the way I feel; its what God says about me that I need to hear and know]
Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west [He shows me how far every time He opens wide His arms and receives me in]
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again [we don't have to see the man we were, because the old "us" had died, and we have been raised with Christ; Romans 6:6,7]
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest [when I go to Him, and abide in Him, I find rest {in His arms} ]
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other [when He stretched His arms out on the cross, taking on all our sin and shame, He removed our transgressions from us, as far as the east is from the west...]
I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin [it truly is a daily battle, putting your mind on things above; let it be renewed daily by the Word; put on the armor of God, so I can withstand the fiery darts of the enemy ]
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in [whenever we are in the "eye" of our storm, we can't discern what God is saying to us for the howling going on in our ears ]
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way [BUT, we are NOT one mistake away, or two, or five...God wants us to cling to Him; and He makes the way known for us when we do. Making mistakes is how we learn to do things RIGHT :) ]
I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light [we are washed white, by the Blood of Jesus; He has turned our life around, turned mourning into dancing; turned darkness to light; what a great love ]
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night [night fall for many is when the thoughts come. God is with us, then, too...just like with the children of Isreal - cloud by day, pillar of fire by night...He is the light of our surrounding, choking darkness ]
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me [SOO thankful that I don't have to fret about keeping my grip ALL the time; He is holding me...He IS holding ME...soak in that for a minute... ]
Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other
[Once again, He know EXACTLY the trials and tribulations we face; the circumstances we are in, the decisions we have to make; the areas of life where we struggle; HE KNOWS how far the east if from the west. If ever I forget, and I do at times, I need only look at the outstretched arms, from "one scarred hand to the other" ]
Be blessed everyone. God is the same - yesterday...today...forever!!
Velvet
